Common cures for parenting mistakes

When it comes to handling our kids, most of us know we are amateurs. Parents are somehow supposed to know just what to do with their children on a daily basis. However, there are some areas where most parents make mistakes.

These problems are fairly easy to correct. It just takes and open mind and dedication on your part.

The most common mistake among parents is inconsistency with rules. If parents do not follow through on their rules, children learn that you do not really mean what you say. The old advice about consistency still holds true - tell kids what you want them to do and then have them do it. Following through on rules sends a caring message to kids.

In addition, sometimes parents have the ability to talk too much. Sometimes, parents say that "kids don't listen." This common complaint by adults raises the question: How did the children acquire these poor listening skills? The truth is that we tend to dominate discussions with children. This also leads to lecturing, which no one wants to hear.

When you talk to your kids after carefully listening, you are more aware and informed. Then your words will carry meaning and kids will naturally listen to you. So talk less and listen more.

Often times, words also will not match our actions. Many times, children see us blaming, denying and excusing instead of owning up to mistakes. Children welcome it when you admit that your erred and do not know something. Your honest comes as a relief to kids. Children then become more free to learn from their own mistakes and grow as well.

Parents also need to explain the meaning of personal boundaries to their children. Children need to learn to respect other people's bodies and possessions. Besides helping children to control their impulses to touch things that do not belong to them, we can educate them about other subjects that need to be approached with caution at times. These areas include talking about other people's ages, incomes or weight.

Most importantly, parents need to realize when they are not spending enough quality time with their children. Find ways to have fun with your children. Ask them what they want to do. Remember to listen to them. Discover activities that are fun for everyone, so you also receive enjoyment from the experience. Go to the park, play a game, watch a show. Enjoy the silent times too, when you just together. Set a goal to spend time doing things and being with your child. It will benefit everyone.

Set a goal to improve an area of your parenting skills each week. Know that your future will not be free of errors, but you will be able to experience more enjoyment with your children.

Excerpts of this column were reprinted with permission from the National School Public Relations Association's newsletter, "It Starts on the Frontline."


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