Learning How to Live Life as a Family
Learning How to Live Life
as a Family
By Jeffrey D. Murrah
Learning how to live as a family occurs on a daily basis. Enduring family life is something everyone does, but living life as a family and enjoying it is a rewarding challenge. Living is best done one day at a time. As a counselor, I assumed that families knew how to live life, but I have learned it is not so common knowledge.
Learning how to live requires re-thinking of family relationships and time. Daily living within a family requires being together. Maintaining healthy relationships requires time. Learn how to enjoy time spent together. Discover how to make the time pleasurable for each family member.
Living as a family means enjoying each others' company. The experience of being with family members is sought after and enjoyed. Parents need to seek out and discover what each family member enjoys. It is difficult to enjoy being with someone you do not know. Learn about your child. Express genuine interest, and not the Family Bureau of Investigation type of questioning to discover your child. Who are your child's heroes or heroines? What do they admire about their hero or heroine? What are their favorite hobbies, foods, places to go, and aspirations? Once those sources of joy are found, share them as a family. It is important that parents ask rather than assume they know what their children enjoy. As the children experience the parents' interest in them, they begin showing greater interest in what the family and parents enjoy.
Humor can richly enhance family living. Healthy humor is shared with each other rather than directed at each other. Healthy humor enriches family experiences, rather than exploiting others through destructive humor. Jokes, humorous stories, events, illustrations or anecdotes can be used to make family times enjoyable. It is okay for fathers (or even mothers) to tell corny jokes. Practice smiling whenever family members are around. A good guideline is if everyone is not enjoying the humor, it is not healthy.
Family living includes sharing each members accomplishments rather than gossiping about others. Sharing includes giving encouragement and support for accomplishments. Achievements are to be celebrated rather than ridiculed. Discouraging words rob family members of enthusiasm and initiative. Discouragement paralyzes enjoyable family activity. It takes many encouraging words to counteract the effects of one discouraging statement. As family members, we can make or break others within the family with our words. Practice giving praise. Praise is most effective when given as genuine appreciation of achievements instead of manipulation. Family meal times could be used as a time for each member to share what accomplishments they experienced that day.
Family life can be endured or enjoyed. Learning how to live and enjoy life as a family is achievable. It is not about 'getting a life,' it is about living the one you have.
Jeffrey D. Murrah is a marriage and family therapist in private practice with offices in Pasadena and La Porte. He can be reached at (713) 944-4335 or at his website www.restorethefamily.com.